They actually committed these thoughts to paper?!

I'm an Editorial Director at BuzzFeed who covers the internet’s funniest photos and jokes, weird human history, movie facts, and more.

"Hi there, I hope you’re doing as well as possible during this time. I first wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I can’t imagine how hard this season must be for your family, and I truly mean that with all respect.

My name is [redacted] and I live nearby. I’ve admired this home for a long time—it’s one of those places that just feels special the moment you see it. You can tell it’s been deeply loved and cared for over the years. The large lot full of trees and nature is so dreamy.

I wanted to reach out because, if your family is ever open to the idea of selling, I would love to be considered. We have dear friends on the street, and it’s such a close, welcoming community. I can easily picture my four kids running around the property, riding bikes with friends, and growing up in a place that feels tucked away and full of nature but also connected to a community. It would mean a lot to our family to have the chance to make memories there and continue caring for it the way it deserves.

I completely understand that this may not be something you’re thinking about right now, but I wanted to gently share my interest in case the time ever feels right. Thank you so much for taking a moment to read this.

Thinking of your family and wishing you peace."

"Well, my my, aren’t you a pleasant one! Seriously — go fuck yourself.

Some people scrape by making a living just offering these services you just want to crank about w/ your entitled “don’t contact me” ass, and you can’t even handle someone contacting you by a piece of paper?

Fuck you and your cry-baby ass sense of entitlement."

"Matches...To light your fire when you are burnt out

Life Saver...To remind you of the times you have been one

Starburst...For the burst of energy you will need

Rubber bands...To remind you that flexibility is key

Tootsie Roll-To help you roll with the punches"

If you're wondering, Ruhezeit is German for quiet hours, and Germans, from what I understand, are actually required by law to stay quiet during it! 

We understand convenience is amazing but could you possibly NOT park in between us? It interrupts our couple energy. We def don’t mind you taking the corner spot or end spot.

God forbid the colleague try to make the office a little fun!

Lilith was the name of the first wife of Adam, who was banished from the Garden of Eden and, in some tellings, went on to become a she-demon. On the flip side, Lilith is a favorite name of feminists for her independent spirit.

Whatever you think about the name, my take is that if it ain't your baby...you should stay out of the parents' naming process!

Look, I don't condone using someone's milk if it's not yours, but this is a bit over the top, don't you think? "You will be eliminated!"

But also, LOL at how his tone changed the next time she came...with her husband.

It’s apparently legal, from what I gather, but still...it’s quite a request!

Sign it with your real name, you racist coward!

It reads: “Hi! I’m Xxx, I live down the street. A few weeks ago we got some landscaping fabric delivered to us by accident. We have one roll left if you are interested in buying it. We are selling it, but if you wanted to trade something for it we could work something out. It’s Mark brand 4’x22s’. Text me if ur interested.”

By the way, Asheville's minor league baseball is called the Asheville Tourists. No joke.